I had a phone call tonight, and agreed to let him talk — I just got home from wandering along kits beach for several hours. He grovelled and apologized.  He knows he’s got to earn my trust and that if we are ever going to be friends it’s him that has to do that work.  He was concerned that I would push you away even if I push him away. I did not tell him that I laid everything out to you as I wasn’t ready to be vulnerable — as that would have entailed me telling him I know what he’d said to my other friend and I don’t trust him and don’t feel comfortable being vulnerable.  He was pretty understanding that I talked to Haley, but not the other direction. So I decided that with regards to you guys, that I would emphasize that there was no concern over our friendship but that at this point, I’d leave it at that and not say that I’d been in touch with you.  Maybe if he ever regains my trust (and that’s a big ‘if’ at this point) I’ll tell him.
I did tell him I was appalled at his opinion of me but that I didn’t trust him enough to express specifics at this point (again, because I didn’t feel comfortable sharing the gossip because then I’d be making myself vulnerable).  I think he almost wanted me to tear a strip out of him and one reason I didn’t is because he wanted it.
He tried to deflect some of the responsibility for what happened and I readily admitted that I responded, but I wouldn’t take the crap and emphasized that I was specific and clear and honest about what I was needing and wanting and that the back pain support was what I would have asked any friend to do.  He stopped trying that tactic, thankfully.
He does know that I have been honest with people I’d felt like I’d lied to in recent months, but not who.
He said he still wants me at breakfast, I told him I’d have to see him being a friend to me first (because he’s badly damaged the bridges and trust needs to be earned).   I talked about counselling, in particular Christian Counselling, a lot and pretty bluntly told him that things are bad and he’s not going to get anywhere if he doesn’t man up and take the step. He admitted that he had the number for Michael’s counsellor.  I don’t know if he’ll go.
He doesn’t know that Michael’s coming Tomorrow… er… today. When he asked if I’d be around this weekend, I was vague and said I didn’t know what my plans were.