It takes a while, and the journey can be slower or faster. I get that. I’m much the same — pained at missing a friend, but I’m ready to keep walking forward. Today, I’m weary but I feel more normal than I’ve felt in weeks.  Perhaps it’s decompressing from the intensity of recent days, perhaps it’s healing. Perhaps it’s conversations with very long time friends who know parts of me that few others know. They know the parts that are related to why this situation I’m in is particularly intense and difficult, and they are a part of my past that makes me trust them with this deep part of my heart. Those parts I don’t delve into detail in this more public forum.
One of my dear friends has referred to 2008 as the Dark Horse Year.  I didn’t realize when she said that at the start of the year, how true that would be to me. With that in mind, it was amusing, to say the least, when Nickelback released the CD “Dark Horse”. Two songs from that album are on my mind currently:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIUbSh7PsVk]
If today was my last day… that’s a rather morbid thought, and a frustrating one, but the message is important — live each moment to the fullest.
And the second is one that anyone who’s listened to POP radio has heard…
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y85scjU3rfw]
The cry of most of our hearts. Tonight a friend came over, he needed a friend, struggling with much the same as what I’ve been going through — though he had no idea, still has little.  I don’t understand why things are the way they are. I’m thankful though, that I am feeling more ‘normal’. That’s good. Maybe re-contact will be sooner than I thought. That would be nice. We’ll see how I feel in the days to come.