One of the toughest things about where I’m at right now is that I can’t run to deal with stress. I’ve realized that December is a month that I generally detest. Sad really when you consider that it’s My Birthday, Christmas and New Years. A time of celebration, family, parties and events. But really, this is the third December in a row that’s really sucked. This one seems to be shaping up that way too. It’s only the 3rd, and I’m wishing it were over. I wish I could run, dance, do what I’d normally do in times like this to de-stress. But I can’t. I’m in pain — my ribs are starting to stay in place, but my muscles are tight. They hurt. I wish I could have a back massage. My front rib cage is still in pain so that needs to heal, but it’s getting better… slowly.
Last night there was a party for one of my running buddies. It reminded me what an awesome community of friends I have around me. What an awesome support network. But I was still sore, tired wanting to be alone. So I left as early as I could, though from the time I decided to leave to actually walking out the door took almost an hour. 😛 I appreciate the community that really wanted to chat, find out how I was and give me good wishes.
December always seems to be a month of life reflection, considerations and questions. This one is no different. With the economy being the way it is, I wonder how to proceed. What can I do to recession proof myself? My company had some lay offs this week. I think the economy and recession was an excuse, some of it was politics, but it’s still nerve wracking. I do have a backup plan. I know what I’ll do in the unlikely event that my job is cut. I doubt it will be, being in the department I’m in is pretty essential and we’re understaffed as it is. But it still gives me pause and it means that I’m doing some serious thinking about every area of my life and it feels like every area is in flux and none of it is in ‘good flux’. If that makes any sense.
Those life goals and considerations that I’ve had going on for months, are on my mind right now. And it’s hard that I don’t have one of my main sources of conversation about this sort of thing.  That’s life I suppose.
So that’s a summary of where I’m at at the moment. Generally grumpy, tired, feeling ‘ugh’ from being unable to exercise. Down for sure. I can’t wait for December to be over. It’s going to be a very long month, it’s only December 3rd. Sigh.