Part of the challenging headspace I’ve been in lately has to do with how much sleep I’ve been having.  My sleeps been painful and interrupted all week because of this stupid sore muscle that I’ve got.  And I’ve realized as the week’s gone on, that how I’m doing headspace-wise is directly related to how much sleep I’ve been having.
Later this week I’ve realized that things aren’t as dire as they felt — at this point, at least. Normalcy is possible, and seems to be present at this point. I do know that my feelings of earlier this week are valid. What was past is changing and what is to come cannot be the same as the past.  This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but because I don’t know what is to come, I cannot prepare myself for it.  And it’s a very vulnerable, insecure position to place myself in.
Which I don’t like. However, is it worth it to keep myself in this vulnerable place? An emphatic yes. I think it is. I’m confused, stressed at times, but the potential is worth the risk.  So I won’t stop this place of flux, I will ride it out. At least for right now.
One of my girlfriends commented that my life is changing. I agree. 2009 is going to be very different from 2008. I just don’t know how.