Have you ever had that gut feeling that you’ve somehow offended someone? It’s a subtle thing, really, and it’s nothing overt.   But it’s a realization that invites that used to come my way no longer do, there’s a certain avoidance that seems to be present.
I’ve had that nagging feeling a little bit recently and haven’t been sure what’s been going on, but it seems weird and almost hard to put my finger on it.  I’ve noticed it a bit recently, I’d hear comments about things that are going on that, in the past, I’d be invited to, but not these days.   In the past, when I was particularly stressed out, I was overly sensitive to things like this. So I’d try to temper my concern with time. But right now, I’m not stressed. I’m not worried and I’m not unhappy. Yet that nagging feeling is there.
I also went through a number of stresses in the summer and was a bit of a basket case. Okay, so I felt like I was completely nuts at times.  There was that Canada Day stress, when I completely lost it due to lack of food. This person I’m thinking of, was there for that and since then has pretty much avoided me.
In my efforts to be direct, honest and clear I sent him a message. I let him know that I’d heard about Friday’s Halloween Party, and was asked by a friend tonight if I was going (who was invited). I’d discovered that I wasn’t invited (the event is ‘secret’). I outlined that I had had a stressful summer due to family crises and that if in that time I’d accidentally offended him, I was sorry.  I didn’t ask for an invite, but I did try to be honest because I don’t want to offend anyone.
I haven’t heard back yet, and I’m not sure what I’ll do for Friday night. I have another invite to join a friend and her friend’s annual party. But, I’d rather be with a bunch of my friends.  For now though I’m going to log off so that I can get some sleep, for once.