As I go through this program I continue to learn about myself and today I was happy to realize something.  In the past, I have always wanted to be ‘liked’ and I don’t want to rock the boat in communities (we wont go into the number of times I’ve butted heads with idiocy in the program or in situations, at least not right now).  I’m not sure what to call it, because I will definitely stand up if I believe something’s wrong (that’s a story for another time), and I sometimes am very stubborn!  However, I don’t want to act in such a way that will cause people to think ill of me.  Perhaps this has some significance that harkens back to childhood. Who knows. I need to sleep (or stop procrastinating as I’m doing so well this evening), so I’m not going to delve into that depth of self-reflection right now.
However, earlier this week I met in a group project for school and made comments about making sure to use ‘buzz words’ from the assignment outline.  This is to orient the instructors so that they know that we’ve met their criteria.  I commented that I didn’t want to lose marks because the instructors simply got lost in the presentation.  A group member rolled her eyes at me.   At first, that made me a little sad as I don’t want to create poor group dynamics, but I do want us to do our best on the project!  Then today in another group meeting, we were all having casual conversation before the meeting really got underway.  This same group member made a comment that reminded me of a scene from the film Mary Poppins.  I brought it up as a part of the banter.  Her response was roll her eyes, make a remark and direct her conversation elsewhere.
Other than feeling like I’d been transported back to a high school group project, I realized that I just don’t care what she thinks.  She can dislike me, or think I’m anal, or whatever her opinion is and it doesn’t matter to me, I just can’t be bothered to care. I can only choose to act professionally myself, ensure that the criteria are met for any of my group project and ignore other people’s attitudes because I can do nothing about that.