Some days I just need to stop and take a deep breath. The last few days have been like that for me.  Monday I received information related to some paperwork that was important to me to complete.  The thing was, prior to Monday, the deadline wasn’t publically known because the information was not relayed on time for us (excuse the vagueness, but it’s necessary).  And the deadline was Monday.
I ended up spending the entire evening on Monday working (and stressing out) to get the paperwork done and had to send it in late and apologize for a delay that wasn’t my fault.  In the end I had a door nudge open this week as a result. I’m not going to go into detail now but what stress and lack of sleep!  Three hours of sleep before clinical is not enough! But, I think in the long run it will be worth it and I’ll end up where I want to be, partly due to this week.
But later this week it’s been more difficult as I’ve had to watch a close friend grieve her mother’s passing.  It reminds me of what I went through this time last year when my grandma passed away, also of a heart attack.  What I felt is only a fraction of the intensity she’s feeling, I know that, but it’s heart wrenching and I know there’s nothing I can do but listen, keep in touch and step forward and support her as much as I can. All I can do is walk with her through the pain and try to support her.  It just reminds me of how fleeting life really is.  My advice to anyone reading this is go call your mom. Give her a hug. Let her know how much she is loved. Heck, do that with your whole family.
Then, to add icing to the cake on this very weird week. The distraction called. Just to say hi. It shocked me, because I don’t expect a call anymore and it was both strange and normal at the same time.  He’s still stressed, with a heaviness in his voice that isn’t usually there and it sounds like things aren’t much better in his world.  I hope that, for his sake, things get better. I still stand on the opinion that ‘he’s just not that into me’ and I realize I need to meet new people. It’s hard to meet potential men when you’re in a program that’s 90% female and it consumes most of your life.  I’ve said it before (not on this blog I don’t think): I need a personal marketing manager. Heh.
What a week.  I’m very thankful it’s the weekend and I’m THRILLED that Sunday’s coming so I can have a “no alarm at home in the PJs” morning. It may make the 4am wake up on Monday more difficult but catching up on the lost sleep from this week will be needed. Wow! It’s been intense.