It’s been almost a week since I last posted. I haven’t had the energy to really write much and have needed time to think about things. The Austin Blues Party was an awesome weekend of dancing, yet it was also a bit difficult. I went for many reasons as I described in this post.  I had a great time and I would go back again to dance in Austin, in a heartbeat. I have new dance crushes — particularly one (which was mutual — a handy thing) in San Francisco — and made many new friends. So my reasons for going were achieved.
So why was it difficult? It was difficult partly because of the classes — I didn’t get into a level that taught me anything. I did my best to try to learn things, and I should have switched to being a lead, but was placed lower than I expected. I would have been fine with being placed lower if the classes were to have taught me anything, but the leads were lower than I was — I could lead better than many of them, and the level of material was quite basic. When I was re-auditioned I wasn’t given anything constructive or objective regarding why I wasn’t placed in a more advanced level, it was essentially conveyed to me that it was a popularity contest and since I knew no one there, I lost.  That had me severely disappointed, because I went specifically to be away from everyone I knew and I at least expected that I’d be told ‘work on X or Y and you would be placed up’.  But being told that there are rock star instructors in the next level up ‘and you’re not one of them’ was not helpful. Yes there were, but there were also lower follows who were local and ‘known’ to the organizers. And many of the people in the class I’ve taken classes with before and I know I’m at their level.
So the classes were a waste of my time, though I did get a 5 minute private with Bill Borgida for free and that was fantastic. It taught me more than the rest of the classes of the weekend combined.
What this weekend did though, is it made me realize that I need to do something, anything, to improve the scene here. We don’t have enough dancing for people to improve, or really very many decent leads. When we have few resources here, it’s time to step up and start affecting change. I was thinking of starting to teach, but don’t know how to go about opening that door. And after that weekend, I wonder about it. But I’ll think and explore and see what doors open up.
It was also difficult because ‘distraction’ and I hardly had any time to spend together. Workshop weekends are very different from an exchange, and booked pretty much solidly. Not being housed together, too, made it difficult to spend time together — so I was a little disappointed.  But it was nice to see him, and nice to see him in a different surrounding than just when he comes to visit me — shows me his character in more circumstances.
This weekend I was reluctant — I was till so tired from Texas — to go camping, but I went, and had a restorative time. It was relaxing to be with old friends, even if they don’t really know where my headspace is at, (in some respects) these days and it was nice to be mellow and relax in front of a fire and on the beach, run in the woods and sleep in a tent.
Overall, it was exactly how I needed to spend my weekend. Tonight, I’m resting, doing laundry, trying to face some of my to do list — even one small item, and to bed. Next week I will be making more plans relating to my future, booking a flight to Arizona to visit distraction, take a week’s holiday and perhaps see the Grand Canyon (alone perhaps, or perhaps not — that’s all TBD). But first I need to get back to laundry, and something on my to do list.