I crashed a date…
Christina
- posted on
- 4 Comments
Tonight was Ruthie Foster and The Blind Boys of Alabama performing at The Centre for Performing Arts in Vancouver. It was an absolutely amazing concert. Both bands were fantastic. The Blind Boys are this amazing gospel group and Ruthie is an amazing blues artist, easily my favourite who speaks to my soul in one way or another with every song that she sings. One of her songs, in particular, has been resonating with me lately. The song is Ruthie’s recording of this poem. I’d strongly listen to the linked video (you can read the lyrics, the video links is for the sound, not the photos of Hillary Clinton) too as you read it:
Phenomenal Woman
By Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqDiaojACiY]
This song, these are the words that I have been trying to say to myself as I was describing in my positive self-talk post and it spoke to my soul. It definitely meant the world to me and meant the world to dance to this song at the concert. At the intermission, people on the level below had seen us and came up to talk to us. Apparently we weren’t the audience, we had an audience!
But, by now I’m sure you’re wondering what all this concert talk has to do with crashing a date. I love Ruthie Foster. She’s my favourite blues artist, easily, and I listen to her often enough that I probably know blues music less well as a result (due to not expanding my palate). And one of my friends mentioned the concert to me a couple of weeks ago at a dance and so once I decided to go I contacted this friend. He’d already bought tickets but let me know where he was sitting. So I decided to risk it — I assumed that he’d be clear if it was a date and if he didn’t want another friend along. I looked at the tickets with the rule that if I got a seat directly beside them I’d take it, and if not I’d skip the concert. As it turned out, I got a ticket right by them. So I bought it.
I let my friend knowthat if I was crashing a date I was sorry and I let his girlfriend know that too (who’s also a good friend of mine). They seemed okay with it. I’ve had lots of friends in relationships when I’ve been single. I’m used to being with a couple. It always bugs me to a degree but I’ve learned to get used to it. Some days it bugs me more than others. Tonight was a night when this couple was very ‘couple-y’ so I’m pretty sure that on one level I wasn’t wanted there — or that they too wished for another guy. But I’ve done this many a time over the years. And, with most of my good friends getting coupled off, it seems like my wing women are becoming fewer and fewer.
To be honest, though, being number three where the other two are coupled — tonight it did bug me more than usual, but that’s because there’s a part of me that is sad that the ‘distraction’ is so far away. I know that I’m in the right place in that situation — he’s too far away to be involved with seriously, so the interest is there but it’s casual. That’s where I’m at and we’re on the same page. I know I’m trying to continue to make the conscious choice to remain emotionally available if I meet a good guy that’s local. And it’s okay, I know where I’m at, I know that the situations are right, I’m happy with that. But, it doesn’t stop me from feeling a little lonely at the moment. From wishing I could have that man in my life on a regular basis with whom I could plan things like this. Tonight was a night when I wanted a date. No, not a date, a partner.
The other woman :-)
I’m going to comment here, because it’s interesting and useful to see another person’s perspective on the same events.
First off, I’m truly glad you came. 🙂 The concert was amazing and I love Ruthie Foster.
I’m about to get personal here, but it’s important that you know. I felt like the third wheel on the date. I wasn’t feeling too good about myself and I wasn’t able to even get dressed up that night, due to time constraints.
You looked fantastic. Elegant, classy, well put together. I felt like dandelion next to a Orchid.
For a few moments, I was completely submerged in negative self talk… why would he want me, when he could have a woman like this.
I’m listening to this intimate song, which speak of a Phenomenal woman, and I’m watching my boyfriend dance with one. Perhaps a more secure, well adjusted person wouldn’t have felt so small, but I’m not that person… yet.
Then, when those women waited around to comment about watching us dance, I knew they thought you two were a couple. This initiated terrible feelings of inadequacy in my muddled up brain.
While you were wanting a partner that night, so was I.
When a man invites other people to an event, it is most certainly not a date.
For me, single life is more natural and sometimes I’m most lonely when I’m in a relationship.
This is something I need to work on. I need to be happy with myself and the rest will come naturally.
Thank you my dear friend for letting me into your thoughts.
The other woman :-)
I’m going to comment here, because it’s interesting and useful to see another person’s perspective on the same events.
First off, I’m truly glad you came. 🙂 The concert was amazing and I love Ruthie Foster.
I’m about to get personal here, but it’s important that you know. I felt like the third wheel on the date. I wasn’t feeling too good about myself and I wasn’t able to even get dressed up that night, due to time constraints.
You looked fantastic. Elegant, classy, well put together. I felt like dandelion next to a Orchid.
For a few moments, I was completely submerged in negative self talk… why would he want me, when he could have a woman like this.
I’m listening to this intimate song, which speak of a Phenomenal woman, and I’m watching my boyfriend dance with one. Perhaps a more secure, well adjusted person wouldn’t have felt so small, but I’m not that person… yet.
Then, when those women waited around to comment about watching us dance, I knew they thought you two were a couple. This initiated terrible feelings of inadequacy in my muddled up brain.
While you were wanting a partner that night, so was I.
When a man invites other people to an event, it is most certainly not a date.
For me, single life is more natural and sometimes I’m most lonely when I’m in a relationship.
This is something I need to work on. I need to be happy with myself and the rest will come naturally.
Thank you my dear friend for letting me into your thoughts.
The other woman :-)
I’m going to comment here, because it’s interesting and useful to see another person’s perspective on the same events.
First off, I’m truly glad you came. 🙂 The concert was amazing and I love Ruthie Foster.
I’m about to get personal here, but it’s important that you know. I felt like the third wheel on the date. I wasn’t feeling too good about myself and I wasn’t able to even get dressed up that night, due to time constraints.
You looked fantastic. Elegant, classy, well put together. I felt like dandelion next to a Orchid.
For a few moments, I was completely submerged in negative self talk… why would he want me, when he could have a woman like this.
I’m listening to this intimate song, which speaks of a Phenomenal woman, and I’m watching my boyfriend dance with one. Perhaps a more secure, well adjusted person wouldn’t have felt so small, but I’m not that person… yet.
Then, when those women waited around to comment about watching us dance, I knew they thought you two were a couple. This initiated terrible feelings of inadequacy in my muddled up brain.
While you were wanting a partner that night, so was I.
When a man invites other people to an event, it is most certainly not a date.
For me, single life is more natural and sometimes I’m most lonely when I’m in a relationship.
This is something I need to work on. I need to be happy with myself and the rest will come naturally.
Thank you my dear friend for letting me into your thoughts.
The other woman :-)
I’m going to comment here, because it’s interesting and useful to see another person’s perspective on the same events.
First off, I’m truly glad you came. 🙂 The concert was amazing and I love Ruthie Foster.
I’m about to get personal here, but it’s important that you know. I felt like the third wheel on the date. I wasn’t feeling too good about myself and I wasn’t able to even get dressed up that night, due to time constraints.
You looked fantastic. Elegant, classy, well put together. I felt like dandelion next to a Orchid.
For a few moments, I was completely submerged in negative self talk… why would he want me, when he could have a woman like this.
I’m listening to this intimate song, which speaks of a Phenomenal woman, and I’m watching my boyfriend dance with one. Perhaps a more secure, well adjusted person wouldn’t have felt so small, but I’m not that person… yet.
Then, when those women waited around to comment about watching us dance, I knew they thought you two were a couple. This initiated terrible feelings of inadequacy in my muddled up brain.
While you were wanting a partner that night, so was I.
When a man invites other people to an event, it is most certainly not a date.
For me, single life is more natural and sometimes I’m most lonely when I’m in a relationship.
This is something I need to work on. I need to be happy with myself and the rest will come naturally.
Thank you my dear friend for letting me into your thoughts.