As I was mentioning in my last post, I knew I needed to have a conversation so that I could make a decision. It’s not a serious decision, but there are two dance events. One in Portland where many of my friends are going, and one in Austin, Texas.  There are many reasons why each event would have been wonderful to go to: Portland will be with lots of ‘known’ people and great events planned whereas Austin will be great for lots of workshops with instructors who I haven’t yet learned from, it’s the home of fantastic blues and it’s a break from the ‘Vancouver Scene’.
Austin would also be a risk: when I travel I may not dance much with people from home but there are ‘home people’ around so there are always people to hang with, but this time most are going to Portland and after my experience with the Portland event in March I didn’t really want to be with a tonne of people from home.  I in no way blame Portlanders — in fact I love dancing there, it was the local people.  So Austin is more appealing. Plus Portland doesn’t have classes and I would like to challenge myself with more classes again.  But Austin is far away, and I’ll have to use flight points to go. In the end I was in a 50/50 dilemma — both would be great, both have risks.
And this brings me to the conversation. On my own, without considering other ‘distractions’ I was at 50/50 about where to go. One factor that plays a part in my decision about which event to attend is the ‘distraction’ I’ve had in recent months as I know that he’s attending the Austin event. I needed to be honest with myself, and with him, that part of what motivates me to go is the chance to see him. And this is the conversation that I knew I needed to have before I could decide between the two events.
But, as I mentioned in my last post, I needed to be vulnerable — to be open to say that I want to see this distraction and to explain where I was at between the two events, and to say what I wanted. So the other night, I had the chance. It came up naturally in conversation, and we had a good talk. I know where he’s at, and he knows where I’m at. It was a safe conversation, I felt listened to, understood, valued. It was, to be honest, the best possible outcome and I’m happy with it. I know that my choosing the event where he’s at won’t create awkwardness, he’d be happy to see me, and we’d be able to see each other outside of dances when possible.  Sadly, we may not be able to stay at the same place but that’s okay and housing plans can change 1000x between now and the end of the event! So my choice to be vulnerable, to be honest about where I’m at was good, was received well and was a success.  It was also good because it opened things up to where we were at, and I’m happy because I know that we’re on the same page.
So, I took a bit more time to think about my choices and to process that conversation: I want to break out, meet new people, travel farther afield. And as one friend pointed out, when the fall changes happen I wont be able to go as far afield — Portland, yes, but perhaps not Austin — we’ll have to see.  Right now I realize that thinking it through, the choice that is right, without considering anyone else is to go to Austin. It’s a risk, yes, I’m essentially going without a safety net — I won’t have a ‘wing woman’. It’s good though to break free, too! Also, how much fun I have is all about my choices and my attitudes and I am going to make certain that I go with the right attitude!
Yesterday morning, I was looking at the points website as I was considering my options — I realized that if I didn’t book immediately I wouldn’t have gotten a cheap seat back — I think I got the last cheap points flight back. It’s a horrible flight, I have to sleep in the Edmonton Airport and go directly to work. Ugh. Oh well. I was disappointed when I thought I might have the decision made for me!
That was the tipping point — I knew I had to book it. So I did. I’m looking forward to my trip, and know that between now and then I will have to watch my finances but ultimately I think I will be in for a very fun weekend!