The reality is that with things being as they are right now I cherish my friends. I’m not my usual self, in many ways right now. I appreciate that they will listen, give words of advice when I need them, play devil’s advocate when that’s appropriate and be offended on my behalf when appropriate.  I appreciate them. My friends are invaluable to me right now.  Soon I hope to have clarity about my personal life, that click that will allow me to walk away emotionally speaking. Soon I need to have clarity about my career and the direction I want to have. Soon I hope to have more clarity regarding my identity and who I really am.
Tomorrow will be a momentous challenge. Things with my family are fine, but I need to make myself vulnerable and reach out to them. I definitely need their perspective on where I’m at. Where I’m going, and how I can be successful with the sector I’m in and the economy being what it is and where I want to go.  I have to decide soon if the redirection is going to be now or not.  I know what I plan to do if alternate options open up that take me elsewhere, I don’t know what I want if that door doesn’t develop (and it seems to be disappearing).
I don’t know. I’m confused, and worn out and would love something to be going right in my life. It’s not that things aren’t good. I love and cherish my running group, and get a great deal of pleasure out of spending time with my friends. But I’d like something to be going smoothly. The last couple of years have been rough. Pretty resoundly rough.  Is it my turn yet for anything good to happen?
Tonight I got myself out from my sick-sofa and went out for dinner. It was my friend Mel’s birthday last week so we went to the Top of Vancouver Revolving Restaurant where we had fabulous seafood and had amazing views of the city — we even got glimpses of the north shore mountains as the sky cleared.   It’s times like this that I cherish, that help to keep me sane in the turmoil that is my life right now.