I was hoping for a distraction this weekend and got it…  I was reminded of what it means to be treated with respect and kindness, and what it means to be with someone who has a healthy view of the world and himself.  It was a relaxing weekend. Time was spent dancing — lindy hop, blues and balboa. Time was spent running. Time was spent relaxing and being mellow.
And it was nice. It was nice to be thought of, to have the door opened for me — I was so surprised that the first time it happened it was at the airport. I thought he expected to drive! But no, he was probably more the gentleman than any man I’ve met in this city. Ever.  We enjoyed the same movies, he even has a passion for Harry Potter that rivals my own.  He’s smart, thoughtful and kind. And being hot certainly helps! 😀
So I made sure that my ‘heart’ was preserved –> no needless falling for a guy that doesn’t live near me. But, really, if he were not so far away, I’d probably have a crush on him. As it is, I am happy to be melancholic.  I’m melancholic because it’s nice to have a weekend of distraction, a weekend where I was treated well and reminded of what I deserve.  It doesn’t help deal with the loss of a friendship, the loss of trust, or the sadness that something that could have been good can’t be due to some major issues out of my control.  But it does help me deal with some bruising to my emotions. It’s a reminder that I am good enough. That what is thought about me by someone I value(d?) is untrue. That I am worthwhile to have a good, healthy, and adult relationship. That I deserve to be treated with the basic respect and intention that anyone deserves.
So, I am happy to by melancholic. I am melancholic because I can’t have the chance for something due to distance. And that’s a nice feeling. It’s a feeling that I want to have. It’s a feeling I was hoping I’d have today.