Sometimes I wish I had something different to report. Something different to write.   Yet the flux is the same. It has returned and it carries on. It seems to be resigned to be this way.  I’m so tired of it, yet it is bigger than the specific flux. I’m tired of the grand flux, the specific I can handle, the grand is difficult.
So I will continue with my project, try to regain my equilibrium — on the grander scale and hope that core parts of my identity survive.
In other news, I have a new toy. I have to give the TV back that I’ve had. So for the first time in my life, I’ve bought a new TV. Brand new, not used, not belonging to someone else, one that I got to choose. Christmas and birthday money.  It’s big and lovely and I’ve had it for 2 days and it’s great.  At least I can distract myself with movies. That’s a bright side…