Today I made the call. One I’d been pondering for a few days. I’m glad I did. It was a long chat about nothing particularly personal and deep — just a normal one. It felt normal. That made me glad.  Feeling like things are more normal is a good thing, even though I recognize that there’s a risk of getting hurt again.  I still want to say the same thing to someone else who’s connected “If ever there’s a chance, please be kind and honest” dealing now is less difficult than dealing later.  But it’s time to move forward with my life. Maybe I should book a trip. But it’s definitely time to look to the future.  Now I need to ponder what’s next, and I don’t know the answer to that. All I know is that things can’t stay the same in my life.  This time of the year in 2009 will be different. Even if it’s as difficult as this year, it will not be the same.
Will it be personal? Who knows. Maybe backup plans? There are two. It’s looking likely. I will sort those plans out, in my head at least, this month.  Both plans will be different and both would be change.  Both would give me the opportunity to change my life — sooner or later, but I will be taking steps in a different direction.  We will see. For now my personal life is seemingly back to some sort of normal. No rollercoaster — one direction or another, but no rollercoaster. I’ve been on that ride, and it’s not fun.