I was chatting with one of my running partners about my life. She reminded me of a story. A parable if you will.
There was a man, in the middle of the ocean, drowning. He was sure that God was going to rescue him. Completely convinced of it. What happens? A helicopter comes along, a ladder drops down and a rescuer comes to try to save him. He refuses the help. He’s convinced that God is going to save him and he refuses the help. So the helicopter leaves. Next, along comes a lifeboat. Tries to rescue the drowning man. Same response “No no, go away, God is going to rescue me”.
What ends up happening? The man drowns, and when he reaches heaven what does he ask God??? “You were going to rescue me!!! Why didn’t you???” God’s answer? “Why do you think I sent the helicopter and then the lifeboat??? You refused my help and you died”.
There are some (loose, perhaps) parallels to the rollercoaster I seem to be on. I’m not the man, rather I’m, perhaps, the lifeboat in this story.  But what happens when the helicopter and the lifeboat have a conversation? Anything can happen.  Perhaps a coordinated effort, perhaps… well, anything. I can think of both good and bad. And I am not going to depress myself by dwelling on the bad at the moment.
That was how my day has played out.  This rollercoaster I’m on at the moment just took a turn and I have no idea what that means. I have no idea what’s ahead, and all I can do is live my life.
I also had some realizations dance-related tonight.  I have learned a few reasons why I have such a general crush on Seattle dancing, or Portland dancing:

1. Connection. In Vancouver no one does the ‘in connection’. I get so used to the default ‘out’ connection that I defaulted there at ECBF sometimes. But intentionally working on the ‘in’ and playing with it in Vancouver these past few weeks I’ve learned that most leads don’t know what to do with ‘in’ and they seem to immediately send me out. Maybe they’re creeped out. Maybe that was what the jerk meant when he said he wasn’t comfortable (See hallowe’en posts). But the reality is, the ‘in connection’ the torso connection is very important in blues dancing, and it doesn’t mean grinding, or awkward pelvis thrusts or any of that sort. It’s just a torso connection. And when it’s done, it feels fantastic, dancing moves to a new level, and the limits can be pushed.
2. Leads in Seattle and Portland know how to feel the floor. They get the analogy of dancing on a floor that’s 2 inches below the actual floor. And they do this without dancing low. This one guy in Seattle is 6’6″ (I’m guessing, but he’s quite tall) and he dances his height. When we dance we get that full torso connection, we’ve got an athletic stance so there’s no pelvis grinding, and our shoulders definitely don’t match. Mine are closer to his stomach, in realitiy. But you know what, he really can feel the floor.  Another lead from ECBF was much shorter, shorter than me, and he too danced his height while still feeling the floor. Maybe this is two things going on here (feeling the floor and dancing one’s height can be two different things), but I guess my point is to question how leads in Vancouver feel the floor and what they think that means. I’m by no means an expert, and this is something I’m working on constantly (I think if people videotaped me as I dance and clean my apartment, they’d laugh — this is a common thing for me to explore…).  I know I used to have this habit of going up on my tiptoes more when dancing with taller leads, particularly when doing Balboa, but I’ve realized — from comments that were made to me — that when I dance my height, my connection improves, I can feel the floor better and and I feel better as a dancer.
3. The other thing that I particularly appreciate? My favourite leads, of all time, are ones that push it. Not every dance necessarily, but they respond to me and they take anything I give them, build on it and the dance grows from there because then I have a chance, and the freedom, to respond in creative ways that allow me to interpret the music and add to the communication of the dance. But most leads in Vancouver don’t do that — at least not very often. A few do, one (the one who was in classes with me at ECBF, in fact) as one who has broken out of his comfort zone and will push the limits with me. I know that I have to bring it to the dance too and that any lead who’s at all decent can probably tell the difference between a follow who is into the dance and who is not. So I’ve been making a concerted effort to bring all that I can to any dance that I dance. Because there are leads there who can bring it, they just don’t. Not often. And I can tell that they dance in the ‘usual’ way with me, yet if they were to just push things and test the waters at all, they’d discover that there is quite a lot more to me and my dancing than what there was 6 months ago or a year ago.
4. My favourite leads of all time? Do all three, at the same time consistently. And because I expect it, I bring it. Every time.

Oh yeah, and I had a yale story tonight too… A french man, 41 years old, married, wanted to chat. It’s funnier than it sounds at the moment, but it’s 1:15am and I need to go and take a muscle relaxant so that I can sleep. 2 more days until my chiropractor’s appointment. OWWW my back hurts.